Identity at the Holiday Table by Lisa Garon
The aroma of butter-soaked mashed potatoes fills the air as the array of family file from the comfortable sitting room to the congested dining room table. The sounds of lids lifting to welcome serving utensils is taken as a sort of dinner bell, signifying the beginning of the feast.
In the next room, the rushed shuffling feet and squeak of the oven door lets the hungry patrons know pillowy biscuits will soon accent the decorated spread. As Aunt Martha sets them on the table, heads bow as the food is blessed. After the food hops around the table, conversation turns from how delicious the yams are to more personal and opinionated topics. A wave of dread washes over as your silence is called out to engage in conversation…
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Your heart rate may be increasing just reading this scene. Anxiety may be lacing your internal voice. It is not uncommon to experience the annual dread of family conversations and expectations.
Holiday season 2020 will be no different, unless of course it is only more intense. There will be wishing for days of old, when we could gather with our whole family around the table, rather than passing a phone around the table to say hi to our at-risk relatives. Someone will show up on a new diet and will be scoffed at when they don’t eat Aunt Sally’s rhubarb pie. Someone else will inevitably replay all of 2020 from pandemic to election.
If we aren’t cautious, our soul may be quickly overwhelmed with the ideals from everyone else, leading us to forget who we are.
With an explosion of enneagram and other personality resources, droves of people have been on a seeking of identity journey over the last several years, hungry, absorbing and learning about who they are. I will raise my hand and say, “Me too!”
I’ve learned all about who I am, my strengths and weaknesses, and this has strengthened my identity, specifically showing me how God created me. I can speak for hours about this with my friends, acquaintances, and even those authority figures in my life. It has even helped me to enter a new career path better suited to those very strengths.
Revisiting our future dining room scene, my palms start to get a bit sweaty and spiraling thoughts engage my soul when I imagine it. Why do my words stumble and my identity feel skewed when I’m looking at Uncle Joey across the table? It seems in these moments my largest insecurities are under interrogation.
But God…
When reading through Scripture, constantly we see God using people in their strengths:
David was an incredible songwriter, and produced perhaps the most famous songbook of all time.
Paul was gifted in seeking knowledge and a heart to pursue what was right in the eyes of God. Noah was righteous and skilled to craft a massive Ark to house hundreds of animals, not to mention saving the human race.
Esther was beautiful and bold, saving an entire people.
When God wanted a place to dwell among His people, he used skilled craftsmen to build his temple in excellence. His command to them was to operate out of the skills they developed.
In 1 Corinthians 12, we are reminded that we are all the body of Christ together. No one is more or less useful than the other. If God made us a toe, then we are to be the best toe we can be, rather than wishing we were an eye. God doesn’t ask one of us to become something we are not.
Pay attention to what God did not say.
David, I know you are a gifted songwriter, but first I need you to get better at controlling your emotions, then I will use you.
Paul, I know you are knowledgeable, but I need you to also lead worship, then I will use you. Noah, I know you are righteous, but first you need to control your habits, then I will use you. Esther, I know you are beautiful, but I need you to become a priestess, then I will use you. Israelites, I know you have some gifted skills, but your rebellious hearts really need to be addressed, then I will use you.
Rather, God took the people as they were, despite their weaknesses, and used them to bring glory to His name. As we enter into this season, let us hold tight to our identity.
Remember all the good things the Lord has called you: Friend, Peaceful, Loved, Anointed, Holy, Forgiven, Made in His Image, Fruit Bearer, and the list goes on. You are a co-heir with Jesus himself, and the time has never been more prime for you to rise up to the calling already placed on you.
In this odd holiday season, let us remember to show up in the full grace of our gifts. Let us allow our gifts to be used to glorify God, especially in our family events. Most of all, let us hold tightly to the knowledge of who we are, our identity in Christ, as His Beloved, His Child, and His Delight.
Lisa Garon is an author and blogger in Sherwood, OR. With an identity crisis and rocky marriage pinning her into a corner 9 years ago, she leaned into understanding the person God created her to be. Years later, Lisa has found freedom in pursuing creative expression to bring glory to God and making His name known. Her mantra is to empower spiritual intentionality through the practical application of Scripture. Engage with Lisa on Instagram @lisagaron_ and join her Weekly Connection by visiting lisagaron.com.
