Let Love do the Leading

I am 16 in my junior year of high school, and I’m afraid to approach anyone around me in this enormous building.

After going through a traumatic relational experience with another girl at school, my already fragile spirit feels crushed under the weight of the judging eyes watching me walk by.

My heart aches at the sting of their whispered words and lingering eyes, but desires so badly to still be part of the group.

Thankfully, a small group of friends stand by me through it, but the repercussions will last for years to come, like the aftershocks of a powerful earthquake.

Day after day, I sat on the fringes watching all the people around me connect, build lasting friendships, share inside jokes, and do all the things I desperately desired to be invited into.

But, for some reason, my feet could not move. I was frozen, waiting for the warmth of friendship to thaw me, but afraid to get too close.

Rather than facing my fear of even more public rejection and humiliation by my peers, I allowed my fear a seat at the table. I let fear start calling the shots, holding me back and pushing me forward unsolicited.

My feet remained firmly planted, growing roots as deep as a tall, old oak. Immovable and sturdy.

You might wonder why I acted this way in response. Why didn’t I just push the fear aside, walk up to those girls and tell them what for?

Our minds don’t think rationally when fear is our motivator. You see, fear wants to keep you in your place. Unmoving, and held tightly in its dark grasp.

Fear doesn’t want you to grow full and tall, branching and stretching farther in the sunlight, sprouting leaves and fruit aplenty.

Fear wants you deeply rooted in itself; to grow deep in the darkness of the soil, hiding yourself in its cool shadow.

Looking back on that time in my life, I wonder how it would be different if love had led me, rather than fear holding me back.

Letting love lead us shifts our perspective to the needs of others by the sweet reminder that our need for deep connection, love, and acceptance are met by the Father first.

God chose us, all of us, as His children before He even laid the foundation of the world, in love.

He chose us in love before even doing His work as Creator. Before there was a physical place for us to exist, God thought of us and, in love, got to work.

Fear pushes us to look out for ourselves first, but love gently whispers in the breeze, “You don’t have to keep searching for what you seek. You are loved and accepted by the Father. He chose you before everything else.”

Love lets us see past the foggy haze of those deeply human needs and creates space for our hearts to empathize with and seek to meet the needs of others.

When we are no longer burdened by searching for connection, acceptance, and love from the people around us, we can turn our attention to helping others find what we’ve already found.

Love motivates by saying, “You are enough. You are held. You are accepted.”

It does not motivate us from a place of, ‘I need,’ but prompts us gently from a place of, ‘they need.’

When we let love do the leading, we stop searching for something we need and start searching for someone who needs us.

Love leads to compassion, which eventually turns into serving, the way we put our love for others on display.

Compassion for others and the hurting world around us is what compels our vulnerability, regardless of the risks.

I can step out and approach the people that intimidate me or hurt me, that bring up those old and deep insecure feelings because to walk away, stand still, or do nothing at all is allowing fear to pull a chair up to the table, once again.