A List that Keeps Me Grounded in Uncertain Times
Every morning at the breakfast-turned-work table Ryan updates me on the number of COVID-19 cases in our area, state, and region.
At first the daily update didn’t bother me; in fact, it made me feel better because our numbers were much lower than other places, like our hometown of Memphis.
Hearing the updated number of cases made me feel safe and secure, until, inevitably, our numbers began to slowly rise.
A heaviness settled over me that was difficult to name when it first appeared and cast a pall over my morning oatmeal. Reflecting back on those mornings I know its name is anxiety.
When I refer to anxiety here, I am referring to a general feeling of anxiousness, of feeling out of control, like the strings of my life are tied to a puppet brought to life by someone else.
I don’t think it’s a long-shot to say I’m not the only one experiencing this out-of-placeness we’re probably all sharing in right now, or that most of us miss feeling a semblance of control over our futures.
In case you’re wondering, babies don’t generally help with the need for control as their small hands throw much of it right out the window.
For those of you who didn’t have a baby mere days before social distancing, sheltering in place, and talking to friends through glass storm doors became the new normal, I’m sure you’re experiencing your very own, unique form of this too.
Whether that’s the uncertainty brought by a furlough at work, a loved one or friend contracting the coronavirus, the inability to see your doctor for a chronic condition, or simply the loneliness of isolation; we all feel slightly untethered by our circumstances.
In our ‘normal’ lives before COVID-19 became daily conversation material, my feet felt ground firmly beneath them and my list-making habit looked more like a daily to-do list.
Now more than ever, I’m finding list-making a grounding practice for my untethered spirit, a simple way to catch the runaway train of my mind before it goes completely off the tracks.
The practice is a simple one. When the chaotic, fear-inducing nature of the coronavirus, isolation, and zoom calls start to overtake me, I begin listing the unchanging things in my life. Here’s an example:
Brushing my teeth (I’ll admit, having a newborn has challenged this habit.)
Mowing the grass
Picking weeds from the flowerbeds
Feeding the animals
Changing diapers
Making lunch
Writing in my journal
Sipping my coffee
Talking to my family
This list offers a small look at the unchanging parts of my life, which become clearer and in greater quantity the longer I list them.
If you’re feeling particularly unsettled and untethered right now, stop and take a moment to make your own list.
Take back control over your mind from fear’s icy grip, and remember, above all other unchanging things, God is the same today as He was from the foundations of the world. He is unchanging in every way, especially, in His love for you, friend.
