What I’m Leaving Behind in 2021: Top 5 Takeaways
2020’s rampant isolation provided the fertile ground we needed to learn more about ourselves. Albeit a learning experience many of us would rather not have gone through, I discovered five key takeaways I’ll take with me into 2021.
1. The first thing I’m letting go of in 2021 is the ‘getting it all done’ mentality. I love planners that allow me to write out a list of daily to-dos I need to accomplish, or I use them as somewhere I can go at the end of the day to record the things I did. Either way it’s used, I find it very satisfying seeing my completed list at the end of the day. The problem is I frequently fall into the trap of over-extending myself. I shoot myself in the foot sometimes when my list is too long, and the hours are so few.
What I’m learning instead is a practice of setting daily priorities to do the most important thing, or my next right thing. Here’s how I set my priorities for this year:
Family– playing with and enjoying the time I get to spend with my son and with my husband.
Work– using the pockets of available time throughout the day, no matter how short, to focus on writing the blog post, doing work for the internship, or researching my book idea.
Home– setting my goal to clean one thing or small area each day. Somedays this is a very small amount of cleaning and some days it’s sweeping and mopping and laundry.
Movement– getting a hard workout in, going for a walk with the family and pup, or just chasing my son around the house, which, let’s be honest, is just as much of a workout.
This list helps me decide what my next right thing is, whether that’s sitting inside the playpen with Owen, enjoying some one-on-one playing or wiping off the wall next to his high-chair or getting down to business. Making the decision of what to do with my time can sometimes feel overwhelming, and this helps me make that decision a little easier.
2. The second is double screens. What I mean by this is essentially scrolling on my phone while also watching a TV show. Because I don’t get much time to peruse my socials during the day, it can be tempting to do it in the evening.
There’s nothing wrong with a little scrolling on social media, but I’ve gotten into the bad habit of trying to multi-task before bed to make up for the lack of screen time during the day. I know, I know. Can we all say addicted together?
After going a couple of nights with one screen as my focus at a time, I noticed something that’s going to be obvious to you, friend. I could focus on the little things on the tv. For example, we are currently re-watching Psych, a show we love for it’s comedic and sort of drama-y value. It’s rumored there is a pineapple in every episode. Without my phone in front of me, I’ve managed to find them and call out, “There’s the pineapple!” several times.
This seems like a little thing but giving our brain only one thing to focus on at a time gives it a chance to work a little harder. Rather than trying to force it to do two activities (1. Watch and pay attention to a TV show, and 2. Read posts on my phone.) I can give it a chance to work a little harder on one task at a time. I know this sounds silly because we’re talking about watching TV, but I’ve actually begun noticing a difference. Take from this one what you will, friends.
3. Let’s talk about perfectionism for a minute. I know 2020 threw us all for a loop the whole year, but what emerged was a new way to compare ourselves to one another. Pandemic Survival Comparison is what I’m calling it, and if you didn’t experience this, I’m so glad for you. This is from my experience.
I’ve almost always fallen prey to comparison and the devastating effects it has on relationships. Always just a little insecure about what I’m doing, saying, or how I look compared to others, the pandemic brought this out in unexpected ways. I’ve talked on here before about the hardship of bringing a new baby home, only to have the entire world shut down right after, as well as, living ten hours away from family.
Before we had our son, I immensely enjoyed spending time with family, but my only way to really engage with much of the outside world was though social media. I found myself growing more and more depressed (thanks, postpartum hormones) the more I immersed myself in the highlight reels people posted online.
In a single viewing, I’d scroll past at least four people spending time with their families, and the circumstances of quarantining ourselves to protect our new son became like a weight on my back. It pushed me deeper and deeper into the hole, where it seemed like everyone I knew was getting to enjoy time with their families without fear.
Please note here that a lot of this emotion was fueled by postpartum hormones. Even in a non-pandemical world, the postpartum period is difficult to walk through. But when you add on top the anxiety of a deadly virus floating in the air, the fact that we live over 600 miles away from family who could help, and the forced isolation, it was a recipe for at least a mild case of depression.
Moving into 2021, I’m ditching the comparison-driven perfection I found myself chasing in 2020. I’m keeping my feet firmly in my own lane and reminding myself daily that social media does not provide the full picture of someone’s life.
4. Fourth on my list is living without boundaries, especially when it regards work and home in a world where we’re still working from home. This one ties together a lot with number one.
Back in August 2020 I began using theme days for my writing, a technique I picked up from Emily P. Freeman (listen to her podcast episode on theme days.) It’s a simple method where I break up my days according to a particular theme, and over the months I’ve fine-tuned and tweaked it until I found a rhythm that really works for me.
Mondays are for administrative and brainstorming.
Tuesdays are for training, which usually involves watching the live or recorded Tuesday Teaching with Hope*Writers, and reading.
Wednesdays are for writing (blogs, emails, book, and freelance articles).
Thursdays are for scheduling blog posts to publish and emails to send.
Fridays are my catch-all days to get to anything that slipped through the cracks.
The theme day method helps me not have to think as hard about what I need to work on when I have the time because I know what my theme is for that day. It helps me not waste time doing work that’s not moving me forward. It also helps me focus on the task at hand because my brain isn’t worrying about the many other small things I need to do. They have their own day.
5. Last is letting the mess build up. When your focus is consumed with a newborn baby and their many needs, the mess in your home builds without you even realizing it’s happening. It’s so subtle that you simply blink and before your eyes on the relatively clean coffee table are little piles of stuff.
It doesn’t help that I’m a stacker. I tend to stack up things on the ends of tables or countertops to get them out of the way without actually putting them back in their place. This wouldn’t be all that bad if it were only confined to the kitchen table or that one corner of the kitchen counter.
Moving into 2021 I’m trying something new. Gone are the days where all the house cleaning falls on one day. Instead, I set my goal to clean just one spot in the house every day. They don’t have to be big spots or even whole rooms. When that pressure is on me, I put it off for days at a time. I need the lower pressure of just one thing at a time, and then, I’m noticing, I’m much more inclined to do a little more.
What’s one thing you learned about yourself in 2020 that you’re going to take with you into this new year?
