Not Like We Pictured by Robyn Chapman

Friends we’ve almost made it through what has undoubtedly been one of the strangest years that most of us will ever experience. Personally, 2019 was a hard year for me that included the death of my second parent. I was looking forward to 2020. In hindsight, it was not what I pictured. Not even a little.

I’ve been pondering how we get images in our minds of how we think something should be, and so often it just doesn’t match up. I’m extra bad about this at Christmas. The picture I attached to this post came straight from a Kohl’s advertisement.

How often do we base what our Christmas should look like based on pictures like this one or on Hallmark movies? Doesn’t it look so pretty? It would be cozy, warm, and festive if I just bought all that stuff and filled my living room for Christmas. Except, it wouldn’t.

For one, my living room doesn’t have the exact features of that fake living room. Nor does it have a professional designer and photographer or all new and trendy goodies to display. I have to work around the tv, the vent, the window and the furniture. I don’t have a fireplace. Exactly zero professionals will be involved. There will probably be at least one argument of some kind.

I will put up a small nativity and, eventually, it will include Spider-Man and probably some little green Army men and maybe a Matchbox car. I’m sure the little drummer boy rolled up in a fast car.

The Christmas tree won’t be anyone’s idea of pretty because it will be a hodgepodge of handmade toddler ornaments, cartoon ornaments, and angels that I’ve had for 40 years. At least one row of lights will mysteriously go out by mid-December.

Basically, nothing will look like the picture in my mind. If we want to really uncover some stuff, not much of my life looks like how I pictured it would years ago.

In my mind, both my parents would still be here. I might not of have had kids at all. I would’ve been doing something interesting in some fancy place going from one fun event to the next. I can promise that the biggest social event of my week would not have been when the neighborhood kids stay for dinner.

Do you suppose Mary the Mother of Jesus pictured her life going just that way? Instead of being married and everyone being excited about the upcoming baby, she was forced to put her beliefs to the test and narrowly avoided being stoned to death for something so scandalous.

I bet her birth plan didn’t include having a baby in a barn. I can just imagine – Lord, I had kind of hoped there would be a bed, at least. You want me to have a king in a barn? Beside the donkeys? Say what?

I think so often of God’s people following Moses out of slavery in Egypt. How excited they must have been initially. But then I wonder what they thought when they were staring at the Red Sea in front of them and Pharaoh’s army behind them. Or say, five years later (much less 40) they must’ve been getting tired of eating manna and never getting to the promised land.

Um, Moses, this isn’t like the picture of freedom we had envisioned.

I’m reminded of that quote that says, “Life is what happens while we’re busy making other plans.” That’s pretty accurate. We perceive much of life as worse than the picture we had in mind. Sometimes it is, at least, in the moment. But what if in God’s reality it winds up being better than anything we could imagine?

My life today isn’t the script I would have written 20 years ago. But just because it doesn’t look like what I had pictured doesn’t mean it isn’t good. In many ways, it’s so much better than I could have dreamed. The thing is, the picture I used to want isn’t what I really want now.

While there are things that I would have chosen not to go through if I had the choice, they’ve led to some of my biggest blessings. I would have missed a lot of good stuff by skipping out on things that made me uncomfortable or that I didn’t think I liked or wanted.

I’m thankful that God is in control of my reality, even if it isn’t like I pictured. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” I have that scripture on one of my favorite coffee mugs as a frequent reminder.

I want to be more open to whatever God has for me, regardless of what it looks like. I don’t want to stand firm in my disappointment and lose sight of the blessings He intended for me.

As we navigate this unique holiday season, I pray that our expectations are rooted in the hope of Christ and not in a staged reality created by someone who doesn’t know us. Rest knowing that God is on His throne and His kingdom is not in trouble.

Robyn Chapman is a Christian, wife, and mother of two boys in southern Ohio. Follow her blog for more on hope and faith in the everyday at www.hopeanyway.com. You can also find her on Instagram at @Robynchap2909